Some people have fond memories of their first few DnD sessions. They tell stories of their encounters, keep old character sheets tucked away like collector's items, and share funny anecdotes of their epic wins (or fails). Then there are people like me who remember their beginner months as a series of teeth grinding, tear inducing moments.

Before you close this window, let me explain. I promise I will end on a good note.

My first introduction to Dungeons and Dragons was two years ago. My fiance was an avid gamer with four years under his belt. Though I'd heard of DnD, I never had any real interest. But J asked me to give it a try and I agreed. It's hard to say 'no' to a guy who gets giddy building a character.

Talk about a gnome in the land of the orcs! The group consisted of several gamers who were serious about their character creation and dice collections. All I wanted to do was play a happy little elf, and they were discussing level seven feats, spot checks, and critical hits, not to mention the extensive list of monsters they'd encountered at some point in their sordid DnD histories (for the record, I started in 3.5e, but that's another story).

Character creation was stressful. Contrary to my original belief, there was more to it than writing up a two paragraph description of my character. There was also graduate level algebra, history, and speech. I exaggerate, but that's how it felt in those first sessions. By the time everyone else was ready to play, I was still perusing weapons and trying to decide if my human fighter could get away with leather armor. Obviously, I had yet to grasp the concept that my character could die in the course of the game.

I felt bad for holding up the game and couldn't fathom that these well honed players had the patience for a new girl. J tried to convince me that the majority of DnD players liked to teach new people about the game. I wasn't to be swayed.

While everyone else slashed and cast and made their checks, I tried to absorb at least a fifth of what was going on. When my turn came, I was afraid to do anything. I didn't talk. I rarely made my characters do anything cool. If I did, it was only at the prompting of someone else. My first character collected severed body parts off giants, but only because the DM told me I could keep an ear I somehow lopped off during battle. Admittedly, that was pretty cool, but I still couldn't get control of my game.

Just as I was starting to get the hang of 4e, one of the guys in our group made a hurtful comment. The intent was probably harmless, but for me, it was the confirmation I'd feared since I'd started: I wasn't cut out to play DnD. So I left the group, having convinced myself that he was right. I just wasn't gamer material.

What I didn't count on was that I'd miss the game. After a nine month dry spell, I decided to try again. For someone who used to cry about her own incompetence (I tend to get emotional, so what?), it seems my inner gamer has indeed blossomed. I now jump into play without worrying if I'm doing the right thing, trusting that the DM will keep me in line. If the DM or another player offers a suggestion, I realize it's not an insult but a way to help me learn and get more out of the game. If it takes me an extra half hour to make a character, no big deal. That half hour gives everyone else time to buy more items, plan their strategies, or make a snack run.

And what J said about DnD players enjoying the teaching process? He's right. I recently had the pleasure of inviting a brand new player into our 4e game and helping her get started. It was a blast, and not once did I even consider the notion that she'd ruin anyone's game because she'd never played before.

Here's the thing: if you're experiencing first time gamer or newbie anxiety, push through it. Don't be intimidated by experienced players. If you honestly don't like the game, then retire your dice with no regrets. But if you've managed to find even the slightest bit of fun in playing, whether it be an epic encounter that gets the adrenaline going, an amazing character that you've given life to, or just the company of good people and new friends, be assured that in time, everything will come together. Pretty soon, you'll be the experienced one bringing someone new into the dungeon.